Giving away everything

When you give Jesus everything, what things do you list?

There are the classics: heart, mind, soul, body, strength, will.

Then the tangibles: My family, my work, my house, my car, etc.

I tend to also add the things that I know he’ll use best: my talents, skills, abilities, passions, dreams.

But that’s not everything, is it? I’ve been leaving off an important list of items.

I’m in church yesterday and I’m on my knees and I’m giving him everything. TBH, I haven’t felt the closest to Jesus the past couple weeks. Like, we’re not on the outs or anything, I just haven’t felt his presence that closely. And when you aren’t in the presence, you start to forget who you are. You start to believe lies easier. You start to think that feeling in a funk is normal. But yesterday morning, I feel him and I start to repent. “God, I need you. I love you. I give you everything. I’m sorry I’ve been keeping things for myself. I’m sorry I’ve been selfish. Forgive me. I give you my year, I give you my new project, I give you my skills, my talents, my abilities.” And then I’m hit with something I haven’t felt before – the realization that my list isn’t complete. And I start a new list I’ve never given him before.

“I give you my failures. I give you my weakness. I give you my inabilities. I give you the things I suck at. Oh, God, I give you everything.”

It’s good to give him the things I can do. But I want to be intimate with God. I want him to know me and to know him better than anyone else. And I can’t continue to keep my weaknesses a “secret” from him, to withhold them and pretend to think that I’ve let him all the way in. I can’t say, “You can have everything I’m good at, but let’s just all ignore the stuff I’m bad at, mmmkay?” That’s not how this works.

We’re starting a new project together. We’re starting a new year together. I have no clue what I’m doing. The sooner I admit that, the easier we’ll be able to work together. I don’t have to have a clue what I’m doing. God knows. And he’ll tell me. Especially when I ask him, pursue him, seek his guidance, and let him lead by giving him EVERYTHING.

Will you join me in giving God everything?