Have you ever asked a woman what her deepest desire is? Like, just as a human. What are her deepest desires? I can’t answer for all women, but if I had to guess, I would say that her deepest longing would be to be seen. Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that someone notices her. That she’s understood. That’s she’s not the freak she feels she is. I mean, just read my last blog about isolated and rejected. Do you know what Lilo’s biggest hurt is? She’s not seen. The only person who remotely understands her is her sister. And her sister isn’t supposed to be everything to her. People want more people. People need people.
I recently finished a book called Flora & Ulysses. It’s a cute book about a superhero squirrel. But what it’s really about it Flora finally feeling seen. At the beginning of the book, Flora explains to the reader how much she hates this little, ugly lamp at the bottom of the stairs. She says that when her mother took it out of the box, she set it up and said, “Oh, I love you, little lamp.” And Flora then tells us that her mother has never said that to her. Flora has no memory of her mother saying, “I love you, Flora.” Imagine the depths that would sink a little girl into. The results have turned Flora into a cynic. Turned her into a person who doesn’t believe people are capable of seeing her.
Flora and her mother are somewhat opposites. More distancing on Flora’s part. She can’t stand someone so close to her not seeing her. But *spoiler alert* at the end of the book when Flora’s mother finds Flora again after Flora’s mother thinks Flora is lost, her mother’s loving emotions finally boil over and Flora feels for the first time how much her mother actually does love her. It opens up Flora’s heart. Makes her feel alive like she never has before in her life.
I was on the phone with my niece the other day. We were talking about road trips and I told her that I don’t really like to snack on a road trip, but I do like a drink. Later that week, I was talking with my nephew on the phone. I brought up the topic of him coming to visit me, but that he would have to ride in the car for a while. I said, “But it’s ok. We could get you snacks.” And he said, “And you could get a drink.” And my heart stopped. What? I wasn’t even talking to him when I said that. But he listened, and he remembered, and he told me that I could get a drink because he sees me. That little poopsie is so good at seeing people.
My heart wants to be seen. Your heart wants to be seen. Your heart longs for someone to say to you, metaphorically, “And you could get a drink.” Someone to see you. But, we’re afraid to open up to that. Like Flora, most of us have become cynics. We close that part of our heart because we’ve been shut down so many times and we can’t stand the hurt anymore. We can’t stand the hurt anymore.
There’s gravity to this. My biggest desire is to be seen. So do you know what then is my biggest fear? Not being heard. Not being understood. Not being enough because my voice and brain aren’t enough to interest people into thinking I’m worth seeing.
I strongly don’t want this to be your life, but I’m guessing we’re somewhat similar. But, your heart is precious. It’s valuable. It’s important. And there’s one who sees you. He sees everything about you and knows you to your very core. And he loves it all. He loves everything about you. He knows what all your facial expressions mean. He can read your face and knows how you feel. He knows what your laughs mean. He sees your shoulders hunched over and knows what that means. He sees you lift your chin and square your shoulders and he knows what that means. He knows your favorite movies and what that says about you. He knows. Guys, he knows you intimately. In every way that you’ve ever wanted to be seen, he sees you. And he loves you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. – Psalm 139:13
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. -John 10:27
Now, Jesus sees you. You just have one thing to do. Let yourself be seen. Don’t let your heart turn to stone. Don’t let the Enemy get a foothold. Rebuke fear. And let not your heart be troubled. Don’t be a Flora. Be a Lilo. Go after being seen. Be vulnerable with Jesus. He longs for you to be closer to him. He can take it. You can’t scare him away. Test him out. You won’t be disappointed.